MORE THINGS TO MAKE YOU LAUGH!

This guy who was suffering from some severe forms of insanity was walking down the street pulling a pencil tied with a thin rope behind him.
Not long after he meets with a guy who asks him.
-Dude why the hell do you pull that pencil behind you?, and the crazy guy extremely annoyed replies.
-Wtf do you expect, to push it instead?



This crazy guy was walking with a shoe around the hospital as if the shoe was a dog. The doctor sees him and goes over to him trying to talk to him.
-Ooo you got quite a beautiful dog there sir!, and the guy replied
-What's wrong with you doctor can't you see is nothing but a simple shoe.
The doctor takes notes and leaves after which the guy suddenly leans towards the shoe and whispers.
-Is safe now boy, we tricked the doctor once again into making him think your a shoe.



2 insane guys were playing and all, and one of them suddenly asks.
-Dude let me use this hammer to stick this nail (pin) inside your head.
-Dude are you totally insane what if you miss the nail and hit me in the head.



2 Insane guys traped in an office decide is time for them to escape, so they think of a plan and they decide they will run up to the door jump through the key whole to exit the room.
The first one runs as fast as he can, jumps towards the door and hits his head in the door that for 2 hours he passed out. When the other guy wakes up the guy who didn't jump tells him.
-Damn bro you are such a fking idiot, after you jumped and smacked your head in the door, i checked the key whole and the reason you didn't go through is because on the other side the key is still in.



One crazy gay guy dies and goes to heaven. At the gates of heaven he meets with Saint John. At one moment St. John drops his keys and bends over to get them, the moment he bends over the gay guy starts touching his ass.
-If you do that one more time, i'm sending you to hell.
-Oh i'm sorry please give me one more chance.
St John gives the guy another chance but 2 other times St John is supposed to bend over to grab something and the crazy gay guy starts grabing his ass every time.
-Ok i've hadded im sending you to hell RIGHT NOW.
So the guy goes to hell. Two weeks later it starts getting extremely cold in heaven so god sends St. John goes to hell to see what's going on. When he gets there, no trace of fire everything was freezing cold. So the messenger of God goes to the Archdevil and asks him what's goin on and why is the once burning hell now all frozen and that God is feeling cold, so the archdevil replies.
-Well if he needs fire around here so badly than tell him he can come and turn on the fire himself but i'm not bending over to do that.



This crazy guy who was completely naked goes up to a mirror and looks in the mirror from all directions. Suddenly he says.
-OMFG I have to change my ass now, this one is cracked in the middle.



After a terrible day, in which everything went wrong for Santa (4 of his elves got very ill, 5 of his raindeer had the flue, his sled broke, he had nothing more to drink and top everything up his mother in law came over his house), late in the evening an angel comes over Santa's house with a huge Christmas tree and asks.
-Hey santa what should i do with this tree i have here.
-You can shuv that up your ass (and he slamed the door in front of the angel)
EVER SINCE THAT MOMENT THERE'S THE TRADITION WITH AN ANGEL SITTING AT THE VERY TOP OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

One day the lion got very tired and bored of hunting himself so he decides to have his servants (the animals) to do his hunting for him. He tells everyone that if they don't bring him food that he will like he will beat every single one of them with his big penis on their back.
The bear brings the lion this big pig and the lion is extremely pleased, he even makes an example out of the bear for bringing him such great food.
Next one was the fox which brings the lion a hen, which although it wasn't as great still pleased the lion.
Third one is the rabbit and the little one comes with a carror. When the lion saw that the rabbit brought him a carrot starts beating the living crap out fo the poor rabbit with his dick. After like half an hour of continously beating the rabbit he lets the rabbit go. The rabbit in tears he starts walking and after a few steps he starts cracking up laughing like an idiot. The lion got agravated and asked.
-Now i just beaten the living hell out of you and your now laughing? what's wrong with you.
The rabbit was cracking up laughing but in between laughs he said.
-Look the hedgehog (porcupine) is coming with apples!!!!

Santa has bad days too....